I am an Asian American, born in Texas to Chinese immigrant parents from Vietnam. As the middle child of three, I learned that achievement could help me get attention/love. My parents taught that happiness is having a lot of success and money, and I was an eager student. I studied hard, did a lot of extracurriculars, got into a top college, and was on my way on the fast track. Marrying my wife at the age of 25 – right before starting my MBA – I made a promise to her that we will be millionaires by 40 with healthy kids, a large house in the suburbs, and a life of love and happiness.
Fast forward almost a decade, and I am a Vice President of a Fortune 200 company at the age of 35. I was making nearly $800k a year, beating the goal of becoming a millionaire by several years. We had the healthy kids. We had the large house. And we had this Instagram-worthy life seemingly filled with love and happiness.
But I wasn’t happy.
Underneath the trappings of wealth, I was not fulfilled, healthy or at peace. I was addicted to work and constantly chose achievement in the office over love of my wife and children. I had high cholesterol, suffered lung and stomach issues, and drank wine and whiskey more than I care to count. And I was stressed, tossing and turning in my sleep, wondering why I wasn’t happy. Why didn’t success and money buy me the happiness my parents promised?
My mid-life crisis was full blown. COVID happened. I separated from my wife. I quit my job. I moved to Chiang Mai, Thailand. And I embarked on a journey of self discovery.
This blog lays out the lessons I learned in this mid-life crisis. If you’re looking to find out how to quickly climb the corporate ladder or become a millionaire by 40, then this blog is NOT for you. But if you have reached a point in your life where you have reached success but still feel stuck or lost, then you might find some answers here. This blog outlines three topics key to how I’m spending this chapter of my life:
- Mini retirement – how I am taking time off to re-assess my priorities
- Living abroad in Thailand – how life really is for me and my family in Thailand
- Self discovery – what steps I am taking to learn more about, to accept, and to love myself
This blog is a bit of a choose your own adventure. Each post helps to answer a question I had (and for many, still have) during my mid-life crisis. I encourage you to simply read the posts that answer a question you are curious about or perhaps facing now. To help you get started, here are the links to popular topics:
- Resigning: Why I walked away from a $800,000 job
- Cost: How much it costs to live in Chiang Mai
- Funding Retirement: How I live on 100% passive income
- Quality of Life: How life is better in Chiang Mai
- Day in the Life: How I spend the day in Chiang Mai
- Happiness: Why I am happier in Chiang Mai
I’ll leave you with some words read from a tarot card I recently drew titled Out with the Old, In with the New:
Heaven is showing you a sign that it’s time to move in a new direction. Often this is because you’re not happy and feel a lack of purpose in your life. This is a wake up call to make changes that match your heart’s desire and spiritual truths.
That wake up call rang for me. Is it ringing for you?
Let’s hear what it said.
~Lester T